You have identified that you might like some therapy and put together a shortlist of possible therapists. Now what? Most therapists – including me – offer a free, initial conversation. Usually, it’s restricted to between 15 and 30 minutes. It’s a good idea to set up a couple of these, so you can ‘try out’ more than one therapist and see who appeals to you. Starting therapy can be taxing – sifting through therapy directories, reading different profiles – and also vulnerable-making. That's why...

Interesting the responses to the film Hamnet. I have spoken to people who said they felt it was 'too much', that the second half was exploitative, and that the music was ramped up to manipulate their emotions. To manipulate their emotions, or perhaps simply an invitation to feel them? The film, to my mind, invited us to confront the horror of losing a child, and the complexity of grief. How it is messy, exhausting, alienating and frightening. It reminded us that we are all fallible; all...

What prompts someone to step into the therapy room? It can be because they want support with a major life event – a bereavement, illness or divorce – but often, it’s because their old defence mechanisms and coping strategies are starting to fail. Defence mechanisms are anything that stands between you and really feeling and experiencing. You might use humour, to defend against humiliation or a sense of failure. You might protest too much – “I’m fine, really, it’s all completely fine !” – a...